Anonymous asked:
tbh I mostly put that in my about on a whim because I was like “will anyone ever actually read this? let’s mention Heartiste and find out” so now that it’s served its purpose maybe I’ll delete it ^_^ but yes, I do like him.
(long apologia for the manosphere below the cut)
To be clear I think he’s a terrible person, rape and abuse apologist, etc. and I don’t think people should read him unless they’re prepared to separate the wheat from the chaff. I read him not because I think it’s a Good Thing to Do but because he’s really entertaining and I can’t seem to stop.
(though I think he may have become more of a horrible person with time? read this and tell me it isn’t beautiful)
I think as an advice manual on picking up conventionally attractive, high-sociosexuality women if you don’t care about morality his work is probably pretty good. When he starts purporting to give a Grand Theory of Human Nature I think he’s automatically doomed to be wrong because people just vary a lot. But I still think he gives a helpful framework that I find myself referring to when trying to understand others’ relationships and my own brain.
(And I think the further you get from the rationalist community and the closer you get to the land of normal people, the more helpful said framework is. I know a girl who’s dating a super-nice guy with a good job and wants to break up with him and get back together with her ex who cheated on her and gave her herpes. Without the manosphere I would have just thought she was an idiot; now I get it and feel bad for her, because to some extent she can’t help how her attraction works. I might be more sympathetic to the manosphere than others because I think I’m closer to the “normal” end of rationalists and so more of it describes me. It’s useful, when you wonder things like “why do I suddenly feel more attracted to him” to have actual answers like “oh, dread game.” And some stuff is applicable even outside romantic relationships: I whispered “abundance mentality” to myself before every job interview I had.)
Also like, there’s this competing access needs thing going on where I managed to internalize the message “Relationships are this beautiful thing where two people meet on a spiritual plane and just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean you should stop being friends or caring about each other as long as everyone is honest about their feelings and needs”
(unless he’s an abuser then he is the scum of the earth and deserves to die, it’s very binary)
Then at some point what I needed to hear was “Relationships are two people manipulating each other to get what they want, you should take whatever actions will get you what you want, why would you care about hurting other people, also if the guy in question is a beta loser why would you ever give him so much as the time of day to begin with, abundance mentality” so I am grateful to Heartiste and the rest of the manosphere for helping me, even if it was in a pretty idiosyncratic way and I don’t expect it to be relevant to most people.
(also this)