I’ve noticed a lot of changes in myself/my desires/my aesthetics over the past month or so. Likely they’re just weird temporary/circumstantial things, but somehow they feel significant enough that it’s started to bother me when e.g. people make incorrect assumptions based on the “old me.” So here’s the update.
- I’m less aesthetically attracted to femininity and more to masculinity.
- I’m less hedonistic and more masochistic. I get a lot of pleasure from doing things that are hard, unpleasant, physically taxing, or emotionally painful.
- I feel more strongly about being agenty. I’m averse to feelings of helplessness.
I’ve started watching competence porn and listening to a weird mixture of Hamilton, filk, and Catholic music. I spent some time the other day googling medieval nuns, just because.