There are some friends for whom, when I’m with them, we talk a lot about what a good time we’re having.
The day before we see each other, we’ll text “can’t wait to see you tomorrow!! :D :D <3″ We greet each other with “omg, it’s so good to see you!” We get somewhere and it’s “wow, this cafe is so charming!” “I can’t believe how beautiful the weather is today!” When there’s a lull in the conversation, one of us will end it with “I’m so happy I have you to talk about things like this with.”
When I think about this too hard, it seems kind of weird and fake. If we’re really having a good time, why do we need to keep reassuring ourselves/each other of that?
But actually, I think I do honestly have more fun with friends when we do this.
Interactions tend to get into positive feedback loops; if the person I’m talking to is having a good time, and expressing that, I will be more engaged in the interaction, and have a better time, and feel inspired to express my enjoyment, and so on. Being somewhat artificially effusive at times can actually just get you into the good equilibrium.
I have other friends whose communication style is much more “so, did you have a good evening?” “well, it wasn’t clearly better than the counterfactual thing I would have been doing.” and I appreciate the commitment to truth-seeking but it really just does not work as well for me