I used to be the sort of person who never fought with people. I knew that getting into heated arguments with people, that might escalate to fights with yelling, was a thing that people did in movies and stuff, but I couldn’t imagine doing it myself. If I was annoyed at someone I might engage in passive aggression, but if it seemed like it might escalate to a fight I would always choose the side of backing down and being conciliatory. It just felt like getting into an openly acknowledged, common-knowledge fight with someone was devastating and to be avoided at all costs.

Lately I’ve gotten more into fighting and it seems … fine? I mean, I don’t strongly endorse it; it definitely seems better to resolve disagreements with honest but thoughtful communication. But if in the moment I’m too upset to do that, getting into a fight seems like a pretty good alternative to what I was doing before. It makes me feel better, it releases some tension, and it turns out it’s not devastating and you can generally make up and get along fine afterwards.