when I first heard about NVC the idea that no one is responsible for anyone else’s feelings seemed unfair to me–letting off the aggriever at the expense of the aggrieved.
but something I’m realizing now is how it helps the aggrieved too: if someone feels responsible for your feelings then you can’t share your feelings without burdening them. but if you can get to the point where they really don’t feel responsible, then regardless of what the feelings are, sharing them can be a light, joyful experience, both of you simply deriving value from the connection it brings.