Last week, all of us grad students had to go see a presentation by the university’s Title IX officer on “appropriate interactions with the undergrads.” Okay, whatever.
She posed a number of ostensibly open-ended scenarios to us. The one she asked me: “suppose an undergrad in your lab is crying. You ask her what’s wrong, and she says she doesn’t want to talk about it.” I said I’d respect that she doesn’t want to talk about it and leave her alone. Oops. Wrong answer.
My second guess, “uh…I tell her she can come to me if she decides she wants to talk about it?” was also incorrect.
I am supposed to report the distressed person to the proper authorities. The presentation was centered on reporting sexual assault, but the Title IX officer said that whatever might be wrong–bad grades, interpersonal drama–there are “resources to deal with that.” I (and a few other people) argued that it’s a violation of boundaries to pry and meddle into someone’s personal life, but the Title IX officer said that no, we were incorrect, someone might not be capable of making rational decisions and really, if we alerted the authorities, it would be better for everyone in the end.
I wanted to ask “so we agree that no means no when we’re talking about sex–why doesn’t no mean no when we’re talking about sharing feelings?”
This was under the guise of “creating a safe environment,” but how can anyone feel “safe” in an environment where any visible display of negative emotion must be reported to the Distressed Person Police? What does “safe” even mean?
wow this is kind of horrifying
I mean if crying in public sometimes is a sign of being incapable of making rational decisions … then I guess I have spent my entire life being incapable of making rational decisions?
(trying to imagine how the conversation would go if I were actually Reported to the Relevant Authorities for this … “sorry, I just remembered this really sad line from a Jennifer Egan story I read the other day”? “sorry, I just started thinking about assembling IKEA furniture”?)
(also this entire thing is totally discriminatory against people with estrogen dominant hormone systems)